If you’re an ‘average American’ (legally or otherwise) you are somewhere between 22 – 49 years of age, have a day job where you spend most of the employer’s time browsing FARK (or equivalent); have a spouse, 2.5 kids, a gas-guzzling SVU; a home to live in; plus a bunch of more stuff. You probably also have Windows-XP (or better).
Now that it’s tax time, you are probably seriously going over your books. Your expenses last year. Your cost of living, your cost to survive.
Those of you who are lucky, recently got a ‘cost of living’ raise on your weekly paycheck. Personally, I don’t get a paycheck any longer; I get an old age pension check. That’s the reason for this current gripe.
Last December I got a letter from the Social Security Administration congratulating me on getting an increase of 2.3% (because of a rise in the cost of living). Two point three percent! Wow! I can go out and buy an extra slice of bread!!!
Using my favorite No. 2 pencil and a yellow lined pad, I did some high tech math. Comparing my personal expenses to live during 2007 against 2006, then 2006 against 2005, then 2007 against a 2008 guesstimate, I came up with my own set of percentages. They were astronomically greater than the federal government’s so I called Nancy Pelosi to complain. Her clerk referred me to another apprentice who referred me, adnauseum, until I finally arrived at the U.S. Department of Labor…the folks who determine the cost of living index for all to comply with.
For those readers not familiar with this index, it is used by every government agency and all big business to let us all know that there is no inflation, no recession, no pandemic, no nothing to fret about. Our economy is in great shape. Two point three percent proves that.
The U.S. Department of Labor spokesperson claims that their ‘cost of living’ index includes: FOOD AND BEVERAGES, HOUSING, APPAREL, TRANSPORTATION, MEDICAL CARE, RECREATION, EDUCATION AND COMMUNICATION, plus OTHER GOODS AND SERVICES (all in capital letters). Subcategories under these headings (in lower case) are all the things we actually spend money on each month. Stuff like over-the-counter and under- the-counter medicines, clothes for the kids; rent and utilities, petrol; foodstuffs, the entire nine yards. When their computer adds all these up and subtracts from the previous year, then divides by a pie, 2.3% is their bottom line.
My bottom line: either they are still using Windows-98 or someone forgot to plug their supercomputer into the wall outlet.
If you too think this Cost of Living crap needs to be updated to reflect the real world in which we live, you know to whom you must write…or vote for…or not vote for.
Tags: cost of living index
